Another one from one of my favorite sites:
10 Things Girls Who Have Lost Their Dads Want You To Know
by Kayla Hays
When I was 17 I lost my dad unexpectedly. It’s been seven years and
the pain is still very real. Over the course of those years I have come
to realize many things that I feel need to be shared with others. I know
there are many other young women who are in my shoes. To our friends,
these are the things we want you to know.
1. We’re sorry.
We are sorry for being quiet every time
you talk about your dad to us. We don’t mean to sound uninterested or
make you feel that your happiness is unimportant to us. It’s just that
when you talk about moments with your dad, it takes us back to moments
with ours. Moments we wish we could relive and share with you, too. We
don’t get quiet on purpose; it kind of just happens. It’s our mind’s way
of protecting us from bursting out in tears.
2. Ask about our dad.
We want to share him with the world and when you ask about him, it
fills our heart with so much joy to know that someone is actually
interested in knowing him like we did. You’ll just have to excuse us as
we talk through the tears.
3. Please don’t try to understand our heartache.
We appreciate the effort, we really do. But the truth is, unless you’ve lost a parent, you truly can’t understand.
4. Listen.
That’s the best thing you can do for us. When we have a bad day and
need to talk to someone, be that someone. You don’t even have to say
much, just reassure us every once in a while that you are still hearing
us.
5. Please, please, please don’t take your dad for granted.
We love you and we don’t want you to
feel our pain someday. Please don’t just assume he will be there for you
to call tomorrow. Call him today. Right now. Don’t wait until it’s too
late and then spend their rest of your life hating yourself for it.
6. Make memories.
Don’t have time? Bullshit. Make time. You always have time for the ones you love. It’s there; it just has to be utilized.
7. ALWAYS tell him you love him.
I don’t care if you two just got in a screaming fight and you feel in
that moment you hate him. You don’t. I promise in a few hours you’ll
realize how ridiculous it was to even think of the H word. Before you
walk out that door or hang up that phone, say it.
8. Forgive us. We are broken.
Sometimes that shows a little more than usual. When our dad’s left
this earth, they took pieces of our heart and soul with them. On
occasion those pieces feel as though they are slowly being glued back
together. But then there are the times when they feel like they are
being ripped apart in shreds. This may bring out a side of us we aren’t
used to. If there are times when we may not seem like our normal selves,
please understand we are grieving immensely. Losing someone of such
importance changes a person. We are being molded into a new place in our
lives. It’s a slow process and a fragile one. Please, forgive us.
9. We are here for you, too.
When that unfortunate day comes about when you lose one of your
parents, we are here. Day or night. Rain or shine. Just call us and
we’ll be there. We know all too well the pain you are enduring and we
will do everything in our power to comfort you.
10. We are jealous of you.
I’m willing to admit it, and I’m sure others are, too. We are so
jealous that you still have your dad in your life that we have to put
the brakes on the eye rolls that are ferociously trying to take over. We
don’t mean to feel this way. It seems so selfish, and in a way, it is.
You have to understand, we are experiencing feelings we’ve never felt
before and trying to find ways to cope.
Deep down, we are happy for you. It’s just every time we read a text
or a Facebook post about how your dad made you laugh, or how he is going
to walk you down the aisle at your wedding, it’s like another slap in
our face. Now please understand, we don’t want you to stop sharing these
beautiful moments just to appease us. In fact, we need the opposite. By
you sharing moments with your dad, you are helping us come to terms
with the loss of ours.
We will eventually get used to it and the feelings won’t be so evil.
We will finally realize that just because we lost our dad and we are
filled with sadness, doesn’t mean everyone else should be, too. The
jealousy will always be there. But instead of the eye rolls, there will
be a smile. A smile meant for you from our hearts. A smile that says we
are thankful you aren’t experiencing our pain and you still get to make
memories with the first man to have your heart.
